I am a quitter. Or a "Ninety Five Percenter". I get right to the end of something and give up. People like me are looked down upon in society. Luckily, many people don't know this about me as I hide it well. If anything, people would probably say that I am persistent and a perfectionist. You see, I hide it well.
When the going gets tough, my mind tells me to get going. Almost every part of me wants to give up. Whether it be on a project, a friend, work; I just want to throw my hands up in the air and declare defeat.
But there is something that stops me.
Something inside of me won't let me give in. Something tells me to suck it up and carry on. Something tells me to keep on persisting. And my goodness I hate that voice sometimes. I have spent many a night crying because I want to give up but simply can't. There are times when I should give up. When I should let a friendship go or accept that I'm not always going to succeed at everything. But most of the time I am grateful for that voice that keeps pushing me along. That forces me to draw strength from God, because goodness knows I've got nothing left inside of me.
I am a week away from holidays. I have this internal battle happening inside right now. I want to give in and start my holiday now. But there is that voice inside of me telling me to keep running that race. To persist with my work and ensure I am doing my best right up until I walk out of that door and into my holidays.
My goodness I'm exhausted.